The idea that sex is just there to complete a banal physical need for our biological systems has to change. No, sex is not bad. Having sexual intercourse with your partner is just a way for you to show your love and compassion for one another. It is an expression of what your heart wants and you should not be ashamed of it. It is the most vulnerable and unconditional way of loving someone. You place that level of trust and faith in the other person that they will cherish and hold you with respect and compassion. However, there are different ways to create emotional intimacy without sex. In fact, stimulating the mind can be just as much enjoyable as sex can be.
In intimate relationships, we require to establish all sorts of connections other than the physical. We need to be emotionally and mentally at par with our partner, only then can we really enjoy and feel held and honored in the act of ‘love making’. That is also one of the most important differences between having sex and making love. Having sex is only a satisfaction of our carnal desires; appealing to a natural feeling of hollowness at times. Making love, however, deepens your emotional connection with your intended and satisfies the soul. We nurture and grow through our unions and let love be the vehicle to our destinations.
Some of the ways you can make love to your partner as follows:
1. Build a Strong Friendship
The act of allowing and acceptance in any relationship is very important. Foreplay because you feel loved and safe in a relationship translates itself into the physical acts as well and makes sex more meaningful. Therefore, it is very important to become friends. Share your secrets, your stories and ideas with each other. When you know your partner well and you know he or she has your trust you feel more in love. There are increased levels of oxytocin in your system. Good friendships garner healthy intimate relationships too.
2. Connect Through Food
According to current research, the act of cooking for someone you are interested in, having a good meal together or taking a cooking class causes a natural arousal for people. Cooking food together and having a nice tasty meal is a wonderful way to reconnect with each other emotionally too. So just, tune the world out and get cooking!
3. Find Hobbies and Activities You Can Do Together
Being silly and laughing at and with each other is a wonderful thing. It is not a healthy thing to do but also deepens your understanding with each other. Come up with a bucket list of things to do together. Come up with activities that both of you can enjoy doing. Go for a hike, or a run, join an art class together etc Just keep on doing things that are intellectually and physically stimulating for the both of you. Throw a brunch if both of you like playing hosts! Go to the library nearby and join a reading circle. Actively pursue social causes together. Doing things together brings harmony and builds trust in relationships.
Something that will further deepen your bond of lovemaking with each other.
4. Be Vulnerable
Being able to mentally bond brings us closer physically and emotionally. Confiding your worst fears, vulnerabilities and trails is a difficult thing to do but at the end of the day, it brings two people close. Being able to face the darkness inside us is a difficult thing to do, yet it brings clarity and peace to us long term. Once you break down your barriers and bring down the walls built around you, you will realize true emotional and physical intimacy. You will feel love the way it is, unapologetic and unconditional.
5. Be Affectionate
There is more than one way to be affectionate. Cuddling, kissing, snuggling or holding hands are all ways through which we express our love for each other. You can also write a letter, make a card, give flowers or even simply post-it note to your lover, give love, and feel loved. Send a sweet little playful text or give your partner a back massage! The world is your oyster. Choose whatever you would like to do. Many little things can be done make the other person feel loved.
Complimenting and letting someone know how special of a person you find them is also a way for you to be affectionate and increases your bond of love with each other.