Superior, Wisconsin – Thanksgiving is a holiday when families get together and enjoy each other’s company and some great food. For others, it’s just family drama. For 21-year-old Ryan Mills, it left him and his girlfriend behind bars. Police were called to the 800 block of Spyglass Avenue at 1pm on Thanksgiving day, with reports of a domestic violence incident. When they arrived, Mills was found on the ground in the living room next to an uncooked turkey carcass. He was stabbed five times, once in the arm and four times in the legs. His girlfriend, 19-year-old Tiffany Rodriguez was found crying on the couch holding a knife.
According to the police report, Mills allegedly had sex with the turkey corpse after he took it out of the refrigerator to prepare it for Thanksgiving dinner. His girlfriend admitted to finding him in the bathroom “going at it hard” with the Thanksgiving meal. That’s when she grabbed the turkey and ran into the living room while Mills chase after her, apologizing. Rodriguez admitted that’s when she lost it and began stabbing him in his extremities.
Rodriguez was arrested for assault with a deadly weapon and Mills is being charged with ‘sexual gratification with an animal.’ But, in a magnificent piece of legal footwork, his attorney argues that he can’t be guilty of that crime, because a carcass is not an ‘animal’.
Public defender Fred Resnick filed a motion last week which claimed: “the statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass.” He said that if you try to include corpses in the category of animals, then “you are going to have several cases in front of you this next year, we are in Wisconsin – that’s what people do here.”
If Mills is convicted, he could serve up to two years in prison, because of a previous conviction in 2005 for shooting a dead pig named Mitzie so that he could have sex with it.